Jusenkyo Bottled Water
by Lord Jeram
Summary: What if some company decided to market Junsenkyo spring water? This was my first fanfic - it's SI is so blatant, I beg you not to read it. Abandoned
1. Prologue

Hey! I've been meaning to call you one of these days about the mess I left when I went away, and of course about that cross-eyed bear you gave to me. Oops! Thought I was talking to my roommate

Jusenkyo Bottled Water

**Prologue**

Key: of words:

Xianshen: mister

Jerms sat on a rickety wooden bench, waiting impatiently for his boss to pick up the phone. He tapped his hand on the bench he was sitting on rhythmically.

Suddenly the line clicked and a deep voice rang out.

"Hello?"

"Oh, hi Weiming xiansheng! So good to have finally reached you. I just got dropped here at the . . ." pauses for a moment to squint at the faded Chinese lettering of the weathered sign in front of him. "Joo-sink-oh Springs, I think."

"Jusenkyo."

"Ah, of course, sir. Heh heh, just my American tongue getting the better of me."

"Enough pleasantries. What have you found?"

"Very direct, sir. That's what I like about you." Silence comes from the phone.

"Ah heh heh. Anyway, so apparently, there are legends of these springs that claim the waters of each one have mystical properties."

"Mystical properties, you say? Like what?"

"Well, it seems, from what I understand, that they imbue spiritual energy from various things that have drowned in the springs to whoever comes in contact with them."

"Hmm, I'm starting to like you, perhaps. How do you suggest we capitalize on your findings?"

"Well, I was thinking this: We purify the waters, in case of bacteria and so on, and collect samples from each one, and bottle them."

"Go on."

"And we could label them things like: Jusenkyo Spring Water: cures all ailments. Straight from the mystical spring of Jusenkyo in China, these magical waters will imbue upon the user energy from the ancients."

A chuckle emanates from the phone.

"I certainly don't mind a small fib in the name of business. But don't be forgetting what happened the last time a company tried something like this."

"Don't worry, that's exactly why we should purify them first. That way, we are legally still selling water from the mystical springs, but we don't have to worry about anyone coming down with any diseases from them."

"Sounds like a good plan. I'll get someone on this immediately. You better hope this plan of yours works, or I'll use your nose as a writing implement."

Jerms gulped.

"Again sir, don't worry. I'll even volunteer to be in charge of, oh, why not sales?"

"Nice try, Jerms, but that "position" is not yours to volunteer, I'm afraid. I have someone else in the mind for the job. I think you'd be better suited to distribution."

Jerms's face fell, but he kept his voice cheerful.

"Very good, sir. I'll see you Monday?"

"Tuesday."

"Ah, yes sir."

**Chapter 1-882: A Lot of Things Happen**

(Ha! I bet you really thought I was serious there for a second! But this is just the beginning of the insanity! Bwoohaha! )

Key:

Jusenkyo Springs:  
Just a quick note: Most of the following pool names are actually derived from Mandarin Chinese, with a few obvious exceptions, such as the eunuchuchuan. It's a matter of personal pride that I strive for a story to be as semi-accurate as possible.

Dongichuan: Frozen Caveman Pool  
Haoduotouchuan: Hydra Pool  
Saolejiaouchan: Missing Legs Pool  
Aerenuchaun: Small Person Pool  
Ugwaiuchuan: Turtle Pond  
Ghengichuan: GK Pond  
Maogochuan: Cat & Dog Pond  
Gozhuoaichuan: Dogs Mating Pond  
Weninchuan: Kissing People Pond  
Rengouchuan: Man & Dog Pond  
Shanguchuan: Elephant Pond  
Nytutouchuan: Bald Woman Pond  
Eunuchuchuan: Eunuch Pond  
Kongllonguchuan: Velociraptor Pond  
Noroguchuan: Medusae Pond  
Ymerjuchuan: ? Pond  
Truthuchuan: Pond Pond  
As for those last two, well, I guess you'll find out (toothy grin).

The Strange Markings You May See While Reading:  
This means events are happening, like this sentence.  
"This means that I'm talking, in this case to myself."  
This means I'm thinking this.  
(( This means an interruption has been made into the story by one of the Other Jermss. ))  
*[ THIS MEANS THAT LORD JERAM IS INTERRUPTING LOUDLY! ]*  
~J( This means I'm apologizing for something stupid that just happened. )J~  
And anything else is up to you!


	2. Chapter One: Unfrozen Caveman Frycook

**Part 1:**  
**Somewhat Serious**

**Chapter 1:**  
**Unfrozen Caveman Frycook**

It was a beautiful spring day in Nerima. Birds chirped and sang to each other and the world. Squirrels played games of tag with each other, running over the branches of blooming trees. The sun smiled down on the city, bathing it with a warm glow. All was right with the world.

Ukyo stretched, and looked out the window.

"What a beautiful morning!" she thought to herself.

She quickly jumped out of bed and got dressed with a few quick moves. She skipped down to the restaurant, carrying a hand-painted sign with her. She flipped over the open/closed sign and added her new sign to the window.

Ukyo stood back, admiring her handiwork. It was simple, yet artistic, without being too gaudy. Even though it just said "Help Wanted" in large letters, Ukyo had spent hours perfecting it. A pile of rejected signs still lay in her back room. Ukyo could hardly wait to start the day and began cooking right away, humming a friendly melody to herself.

* * *

Akane woke up with the sun in her eyes, with a warmness washing over her from the sun and a cool breeze from outside ruffling her hair. She sat up and stretched.

"Wow! What a perfect day." Akane said. She walked over to the window and gazed up into the cloudless cerulean sky. She closed her eyes and leaned out of the window, enjoying the refreshing breeze.

::SPLASH::

Akane opened her eyes, and wiped away her damp bangs from her face. She was completely drenched. As she began drying herself off and throwing the pajamas rather forcefully into the laundry basket, she fumed to herself.

"Stupid baka Ranma and his stupid baka father! Why do they have to ruin every morning?" She heard a knock at the door and whirled, still angry. "What is it?" she asked irritably. A soothing voice came from the hallway.

"I thought you might want some fresh towels, Kane-chan." Akane calmed down.

"Thanks, Kasumi, come on in." The effusively happy young woman came in, smiling brightly at her easily irritated sister.

* * *

Shampoo awoke to a strange sound. She crouched, ready to defend herself. Suddenly the door opened and Mousse came in, tripping and falling face first on the hard wooden floor. Seeing Mousse groaning on the floor, Shampoo could not help giggling.

"Oh, Mousse! You are such so stupid!"

Mousse groaned again and slowly got to his feet, his glasses lopsided on his face. He tried to put back together the scattered flowers on the floor back into the bouquet he had prepared for her.

Shampoo stepped lightly over Mousse and went downstairs to speak to Cologne, oblivious to Mousse's frantic efforts to rebuild his shattered life.

~J( Oops. I meant gift, not life. Or did I. . .)J~

Cologne stared at the tome in front of her, when she heard a bubbly voice pierce her nearly unerring concentration.

"Hiya, great-grandmother! You never guess what stupid thing Mousse do today upstairs!"

((Dark Jerms: Prepare yourself for something unexpected and yes, quite dark. (He laughs evilly as usual)

Cologne slowly raised up her head, the fires in her eyes hotter than those in the sun. Shampoo stopped chattering and backed up, realizing she had caught the Amazon elder at a really, really, really (times a million) bad time. Cologne extended her hand and pointed at Shampoo, who found that she couldn't move a muscle.

Shampoo began sweating profusely, and could barely breathe. Oh! She would never see her beloved Ranma-chan again! Oh poor poor Shampoo! she thought to herself.

Cologne raised a large steak knife and prepared to slash first Shampoo's eyes, then her vocal cords. Shampoo couldn't help but stare helplessly as the knife came closer and closer and ...

Suddenly she heard a shout.

"You old witch! What have you done to my beloved?" Shampoo's heart jumped, as she realized it was Mousse. No, Mousse, no, she said to herself. You'll only kill yourself trying to help me.

Suddenly Mousse was in front of her, filling her vision. Shampoo attempted a smile, but still couldn't move. Mousse frowned, and turned toward Cologne, putting on his glasses and gasping.

"Honored elder! I thought that Shampoo had tied you up! I am thankful it is the reverse."

Cologne looked up at the handsome young man and smiled.

"Don't worry, dear. Shampoo isn't good enough for you." She held out her knife. "Care to do the honors?" Mousse accepted the blade and turned toward Shampoo with a vicious grin.

Shampoo could not imagine anything happening that could be more horrible than what she was experiencing, but she was wrong. A voice drafted in from the entrance.

"Hey, are you guys open yet?" Ranma-chan walked in to see something very surprising. "What's going on here? Mousse, what's wrong with you?" his face darkened. "It's you, wasn't it, you old crone, you're behind this. Don't worry, Shampoo, they won't hurt you while I'm alive."

Suddenly, faster than Shampoo could see, the three warriors fought with a blaze of motions, and when it cleared, a tear rolled down Shampoo's cheek. Cologne and Mousse stood breathing heavily, covered in blood. Ranma lay on the floor, breathing his last. Shampoo could hardly bear it. Images of an ideal future with her Ranma flew before her and shattered. Then, something broke inside Shampoo and she found that she could move. With a cry of outrage, she flung herself at Mousse, driving her nails into his eyes until blood flowed down his cheeks.

Cologne tapped her descendent on the shoulder. Shampoo whirled around, her face streaked with tears and hair matted with blood. Cologne shook her head sadly.

"I'm sorry about this, great-granddaughter." Shampoo suddenly noticed a sharp pain in her back, and felt behind her, her fingers touching a wetness on her silk shirt.

She collapsed.

Dark Jerms: Oh please. Like you've never wanted Shampoo to die, too! Hope you enjoyed that little side story. HAHAHAHAHA!

Jerms: (wresting back control)Man! Sorry about that. Don't worry, some waff is coming up, I hope. (Wipes his brow) Anyway, now back to the real story! ))

Cologne looked up, exasperated.

"Great-granddaughter, I'm researching something very important. Why don't you go tell Ranma?" Shampoo perked up at the suggestion.

"Good idea, great-grandmother! I go to airen right now away!" She practically leapt out of the restaurant, searching for her fiancé. Mousse came, stumbling, down the stairs, holding the damp flowers in one hand, the other steadying his passage by leaning on the wall. His broken glasses lay limply on his head.

"Shampoo? Where are you my darling?" He began slowly looking around the room, looking for Shampoo's telltale hair.

Cologne sighed and closed the tome. Mousse carefully extracted the broken lens from his glasses, and put the remains back on to have at least a little non-blurred sight. He saw Cologne standing on the counter, mumbling to herself and waving her hands. Suddenly Cologne opened her eyes and shouted something that sounded demonic to Mousse. Mousse first gapsed in terror, then thought: I must save Shampoo from her insane great-grandmother! He dashed out of the Nekohanten.

Cologne waited until she was sure Mousse was long gone, and lowered her arms in relief. Maybe now she could continue with her studying without... A loud knock was heard at the door. Cologne, now slightly irritated, bounced on her staff over to the door, and opened it. Her face crinkled up in concentration.

Before her stood an American wearing glasses and sporting a goatee. He smiled at her, and began talking with a slight accent.

"Greetings to you, Grandmother. I would like to speak with you about a business opportunity." Cologne frowned. She really didn't have time for this. But she would put this gaijin in his place. She started speaking Japanese, but then switched over to her local dialect of Chinese.

"Listen, sonny. I" her language suddenly changed "am sorry that you are so foolish to come here, but I'm not interested." The salesman smiled, and responded, in the same language, although with a discernible accent.

"Please listen if you will, Grandmother, to what I am speaking about. You have a very fine establishment here, and I am sure your food is beyond compare. I would like to offer you an exciting new opportunity for expanding your business." Cologne rolled her eyes, thinking "How would this salesman know why we're even here?"

"I am under orders from my boss, Mr. Weiming to distribute our new amazing product." He held up a small bottle, apparently containing water, and bearing characters in Japanese, Chinese, and English. "It may appear to merely be bottled water, but in reality it is drawn from the mystical waters of a magical pond, and a mere sip will cure all that ails you." Cologne, rolling her eyes, missed the writing on the side of the bottle as the salesman put the bottle back in his briefcase. He gave her a grin. "At least that's what we'll tell people. As for upstanding business-owners like yourself we only make this one guarantee: If your sales do not improve significantly, by at least thirty percent, we'll give you a full refund."

Cologne frowned.

"Well, young man, although I am slightly impressed by your ability to speak my tongue, this restaurant is doing quite well enough without any bottled water. I'm afraid I'm not interested. Goodbye." Without waiting for a response, she slammed the door. The man, taken aback, nevertheless kept his cool. He pulled out a printed sheet from his briefcase.

"I suppose I'll try back at this place later. Let's see what's next on my list of prospects. Ah hah. How about . . . this one. Business Type: Small Okonomiyaki Establishment. Owner: Ukyo Kuonji, aged 16. Well, well." He smiled, thinking an innocent young girl would be much easier to persuade than that shriveled old hag. As he put the sheet back into his briefcase, he glanced back at the Nekohanten and snorted.

"Their loss."

* * *

Ranma sauntered into the kitchen, casually grabbing a plate as he walked by, munching on its contents as he flipped into a chair. Akane, hair still slightly soggy, glared at him. Nabiki looked up from the business page and looked at Ranma.

"Wow Ranma. How didyou manage to avoid turning into a girl?" Ranma leaned back in his chair and cracked his knuckles.

He grinned.

"What can I say? I'm good." With that, he tossed a piece of toast into the air, chopped it in half before it fell, and gulped it down. He grinned widely. Akane, fuming, took a seat so forcefully, the wooden floor nearly cracked open.

"I hate that stupid, jerkish, arrogant hentai." Akane thought. "Look at him. 'Oh I'm so strong, so manly, so virile, so handsome, so perfect.' He's so full of it. I ought to slam him one. Maybe that will teach him a lesson." Nabiki shook her head, trying to not to grin too widely.

"Akane, Akane," Nabiki silently reprimanded her younger sister in her head. "You're so transparent. You really do love him, for all his obvious and glaring faults. Soon one day, you'll realize it. But by then it will be too late. Ah well. I still don't get the attraction, I mean, sure he's sort of cute, but he's so brainless." Nabiki's thoughts started to wander. "After all, Ranma's nothing like him. He is so smart, so handsome, so ..." A loud voice interrupted her innermost thoughts.

"Hey, Nabiki, hello, anybody there?" Ranma smirked. "Thinking of ways to fleece Kuno, right." He laughed. "Well, then, please continue."

He jumped out the back door, doing a triple flip in the air before landing perfectly on a fence.

* * *

Ukyo heard a knock at the door, and looking up from the sizzling okonomiyaki on the pan in front of her. With a deft hand twist, she flipped the okonomiyaki onto a waiting plate. She squinted throught the window of the restaurant, wondering why the guy standing outside didn't just come in. With a flash, she realized that he was probably applying for the job.

With a smile, she opened the unlocked door.

A young man, about Ukyo's height with short cropped black hair and a wiry body stood patiently outside Ucchan's. He smiled at Ukyo and bowed.

"So, you are looking for some help here? I would like to apply for the positions available." Ukyo glanced at the open street, then back at the young man. "My name is Duro." Ukyo smiled and invited him in.

"I am Ukyo Kuonji, owner of Ucchan's this restaurant. The specialty here is okonomiyaki, in a variety of styles. Do you have any prior experience with cooking?" Duro frowned, thinking deeply.

"Well, I have learned a great deal about cooking from my parents, who are both great cooks. Of couse, I wouldn't want to presume in front of who I am sure is a master chef." Ukyo smiled, a slight blush creeping into her cheeks.

"Uh, thanks. Anyway, what your job would be is my assistant; basically waiting on tables if I can't, finishing a cooking job that I can't, and so on. I can't pay you all that much, but I can say that working here will be a lot of fun."

Duro grinned. "Hey, that's all that anyone could ask for!" Ukyo smiled back at him and clapped her hands.

"Ok!" she said. "You're hired! Come on in, I'll show around." Duro winked at her while walking in, causing her to blush slightly. "Come on, you." She heard someone clearing their throat loudly behind her, causing her to turn around with a start. An American salesman stood waiting patiently on the side of the road. Ukyo frowned at him.

"What do you want?" she demanded. The salesman clicked open his briefcase and pulled out a small bottle of water. Ukyo glared at him. "Am I supposed to be impressed with your little imported bottle of water?" The man smiled silkily at her.

"Not at all, my dear, considering you have notion of what I hold in my hand. It is none other than the amazing Jisinko Water! I have a proposition for you. You can't lose! I will give you this bottle, for free, mind you, just so you can sample it's magical and mystical properties." Ukyo raised her eyebrows, and did not look convinced. "Let me say this as well: I will personally guarantee that you will be satisfied with our product, or we will give you a free bottle. But don't just trust me. Try this bottle for yourself." He held out the icicle-covered bottle to Ukyo, who cautiously accepted it. "Due to its mystical properties, this particular bottle requires no refrigeration. But don't decide now. I'll come back later." With a charming grin, the salesman bowed, and walked briskly down the road.

Ukyo looked over the bottle in her hand, looking at the various languages the label had written on it. "Jusinko, huh," she mulled over in her head. "Sounds familiar for some reason. Ah well, I guess I'll try it anyway." She unscrewed the bottle top and sniffed it. "It smells okay."

"What was that?" Ukyo whirled, startled at the sudden sound, and dropped the bottle.

"EEEEEEEEK!"

~J(  
Whoo, boy! Finally my first chapter is done. Completed, achieved, fulfilled, executed, accomplished, consummated, Finito! I'd like to thank the Academy, myself, me, I, the guys at the store, my good friends over at Buena Vista Blockbuster store on Route 1, and especially...

***[ LORD JERAM: SILENCE, FOOL! THE PEOPLE AT HOME HAVE NO INTEREST IN YOUR PUNY AND INCONSEQUENTIAL RANTINGS, TOAD! JUST GIVE THEM WHAT THEY WANT: AN EPILOGUE! ]***

Me: (holding ears) Okay, okay, you don't have to yell. Yeesh. Ok, folksles, here is an epilogue to Chapter One: which I shall call "Epilogue to Chapter One." Enjoy!  
)J~

**Epilogue**  
::FLASHBACK:: to ancient times in China.

The carriers trudged along their course, carefully watched by the empress's mounted guards. Following closely behind in the train were several eunuchs carrying the empress's belongings. The empress, having just awoken from a light nap, called for a halt.

"ALL HALT!" The high guard called out with authority, and instantly all members of the train snapped to a halt. The empress peeked out of the curtains of her carriage, gazing at the scenery. She turned to her maids.

"We wish to stop here and rest for a short while so that we may admire this wonderful day." As the various guards and servants settled themselves down for the long wait, one of the eunuchs crept off towards the small ponds nearby.

"I need to wash my face. This long trip has only made me incredibly dirty," he thought. He gazed down into the crystal clear waters of one the pools of water. He reared back suddenly. For a moment, he had thought that he had seen his own body lying motionless in the water. He shook his head, and looked again. The waters appeared crystal clear as it should be. The eunuch bent down.

Suddenly, a scream came from the gathering, and something knocked into the back of his head. As he lost consciousness and fell into the open waters, he felt strangely light, as if all the energy was being drained out of him.


	3. Chapter Two: I Left My Heart in Jusenkyo

What has happened thus far: Ukyo's hired a new frycook. Cologne is  
irritated by Jerms the Salesman, Shampoo is running out to meet Ranma, who  
is acting arrogant. And Dark Jerms interrupted to kill Shampoo briefly  
before I got back control of the story.

Ryouga wandered aimlessly in some town, as usual, his thoughts also  
wandering aimlessly, also as usual. He started thinking about what he had  
last eaten, a tasty sandwich with several exotic ingredients. It was too bad  
Akane had so much trouble with cooking, but Ranma still shouldn't always be  
so inconsiderate and mean after she had tries so hard. Ranma! What a fool!  
What does Akane see in him anyway? Ryouga growled.

"I wish I could destroy Ranma's hold over her. She deserves so much  
better than that bumbling fool!" Like a reflex, Ryouga reached for his heart  
pendant, but stopped, just as usual, as he realized that of course it wasn't  
there.

He had, as per the title, left his heart in Jusenkyo. Yet another thing  
to blame the vile Saotome for! He had been given the heart by a girl whose  
life he had saved, and it had kept him from getting lost so frequently.

Until he lost it after falling into that cursed Jusenkyo pond! Ryouga  
gritted his teeth and clenched his fists. That wretch! How could Ranma ever  
understand his pain? Throwing back his head, he let out a feral roar.

"SAOTOME!"

* * *

Ukyo breathed in deeply.

"Ok, girl, calm down." Then she looked up again.

"Aiee!" She stopped and caught her breath. Where Duro had stood, there  
was now what looked like a huge hairy man covered in ice. She picked up the  
now cracked bottle and looked at it again.

"Jusinko, Jusinko. Where have I heard that name before?" She snapped her  
fingers. "Of course! Not Jusinko, Jusenkyo! That means that this water must  
be from there! Oh, poor Duro. He has no idea what he's in for." She shook  
herself. "Well, in that case, hot water will turn him back!" She ran over to  
the kitchen and grabbed the teapot. Leaping over a table, she checked to  
make sure the water was boiling, and tossed it at the icycled man.

Nothing happened.

A chill ran down Ukyo's spine. "Ok, I gotta get help. Ranma will know  
what to do!" She checked her clothes, grabbed the bottle, and ran off.

* * *

Shampoo raced down the road, humming a merry tune. "Ranma airen, airen

Ranma, Wo de airen, Ranma, Ranma, ya ya ya ya ya ya OOF!" Shampoo fell into  
someone's arms knocking them both to the floor.

"Why could this be my fair Akane or the pig-tailed girl rushing to  
embrace me, the Blue Thunder? Oh happy day?" Shampoo pushed Kuno forcefully,  
getting to her feet. The kendoist's expression instantly became one of  
disgust. "Oh I see, it is you, that vile Chinese gaijin. You are not worth  
the Blue Thunder's time." Kuno turned his back with a sneer to a smoldering  
Shampoo.

((Intellectual Jerms: Say here's a thought? Is her name really Shampoo? Or  
is it Xian Pu? This merits analysis.

Jerms: No it doesn't. Let me get back to the story.

Macho Jerms: Hey guys, what's up?

Jerms: Not now.

Intelligent Jerms: We are about to embark on an exciting intellectual  
exploration of analysis of Shampoo's real name.

Macho Jerms: (flexing) Cool, dudes.

Jerms: (flustered) No we're not.

Intellectual Jerms: Oh how plebian.

Jerms: Shut up you troglodyte!

Intellectual Jerms: Uno momento, por favor senor. I am no troglodyte! I  
don't believe you even know what that means!

Jerms: Of course I do, it means...

Stupid Jerms: Duh...Troglodit? Isn't that a monster or something?

Intellectual Jerms: Not exactly. Although it is the name of a monster who  
dwells in caves, it also means one who lives primitively, which I certain do  
not do!

Stupid Jerms: Primi-what?

Intellectual Jerms: (sighing) Never mind.

Jerms: ANYWAY, let's get back to what we were doing, ok?

Intellectual Jerms: Right, which is the subject of Shampoo's name. Now,  
Zhan means to stand, and Xian means salty. Pu is not a word. My point? Only  
that Xian Pu is no more "Chinese" than "Shan Pu" because Chinese people  
don't always name their kids after words. In fact, just like in English, the  
names often mean nothing. Like the name oh I don't know, Jerms, for  
example. pure gibberish.

Jerms: Wait a minute. That name does mean something. It comes from  
Jeremiah, the prophet.

IJ: Which means?

Jerms: Uh... Ok, so I don't know. That doesn't mean it's gibberish.

IJ: (smiling) Well, my work is done here. Shalom! Ciao!

Macho Jerms: Later, dude.

Stupid Jerms: (scratching head) Hold on a sec, I don't get it. What's my  
name mean?

Jerms: ::sigh:: Never mind. Well, now that he's gone, let's get back to  
that brilliant repartee between Kuno and Shampoo.  
))

Kuno snorted. "What a sniveling countenance! You peasants are nothing  
compared with the might of Tatewaki Kuno.

Shampoo boiled. "Aiya! You foolish, Stupid Boy! Shampoo Kill YOU!" She  
slipped into Mandarin, so angry. "Houji! Bendan!" Kuno yawned. Shampoo  
jumped him.

* * *

Ranma was practicing when he received the call.

"Lunch is ready!" Ranma sped into the house, knocking down Soun as he  
went. He leapt over his father and landed next to the table. He began  
shoveling food into his mouth at a an amazing rate, grabbing everything he  
could stuff in his mouth.

Kasumi looked at Ranma and frowned briefly before cheering up. "Well,  
Ranma, I'm glad you're enjoying Akane's dish too."

Ranma jerked up and coughed. "Wha?" The combination proved too much for  
his throat, and he started choking.

Akane snorted. "Baka. Don't expect any help from me."

Nabiki smirked. "Well, Ranma, I might be willing to help you out . . .  
for a modest fee."

Genma and Soun looked at each other knowingly and chorused. "It's a  
martial artist's duty to endure pain and suffering for the cause."

Kasumi was busy putting out a fire in the kitchen.

* * *

Ukyo dashed down the street as fast as she could. She could see what

looked like Kuno and Shampoo wrestling on the street. The okonomiyaki chef  
shook herself. She couldn't allow herself to be distracted. She needed to  
get help for Duro, and Ranma was the only one who could help.

Ukyo began running so fast she had to close her eyes to block the wind.  
Breathing heavily, she muttered to herself. "Almost there." Suddenly, she  
slammed into something. She feel to the ground, the wind knocked out of her.

Once she opened her eyes, she saw who she had knocked over. A  
well-dressed man and woman were slowly picking themselves up.

Ukyo winced. "Listen, sir and ma'am, I'm really, really sorry. It's  
completely my fault. I should have been keeping my eyes on the road. Listen,  
how about this? I run a small okonomiyaki place down the road. Please feel  
free to come in anytime for a meal on the house."

The woman smiled at her and picked up one of the two briefcases lying on  
the ground. "That's okay young lady. We're fine. But maybe we will visit  
that restaurant of yours later."

Ukyo looked pensive. "Are you sure? If your clothes are ruined, I'll  
find a way to pay for them."

The man shook his head and smiled slightly. "Don't worry. We'll be just  
great. It looked like you were in a hurry, so you better skeedaddle."

Ukyo grinned brilliantly at the two adults. "Thanks a lot. Really." With  
a quick bow, she dusted herself off and began running at top speed, but  
making sure to keep her eyes open wide enough to actually see the road.

The man sighed and picked up the other briefcase. "As I was saying, I  
have to get the word back to my superiors. This time I promise, they'll  
listen."

The woman put on a dark expression. "They better."

The man gulped.

~J(Well here's an afternote: Thanks for reading thus far. Questions?  
Comments? Flames? Etcetera? Direct them directly at the department of  
redundancy department. Toodles, and look for the next Chapter soon..  
Whoops. Better get rid of that extra period. Ah whatever, I'm too lazy to  
press delete.)J~


End file.
